Guysmiley's blog

Had it happen many times to me, will never understand why guys think it's acceptable - especially when you offer to host - be it st your home, a hotel or even arrange and book a mat-room.

I know this is not a contest, but I can do better.
I was supposed to meet a guy to wrestle. He was hosting. I travelled for forty minutes in a train and got to the station. We met. He said "do you really need to wrestle... I've changed my mind..."
Now THAT even beats not showin' in my humble view!

Fear is what I'd reckon.

Not disagreeing but why not then send a message saying changed mind instead of disappearing.

Yeah, I'm not saying that it's a justification just the reason.

I'd rather have someone actually cancel than just not turn up. Even when they've cancelled when I'm on the actual train to go meet them - least I knew I had a free day.

Its a dick move. It's selfish. It's cowardly but I'm sure a writer once wrote:

Fear doth make cowards of us all.

Sorry you had a bad time, mate.

I also think they cancel out of fear aka they chicken out. The fear might not come from wrestling, but rather the nerves about meeting a stranger. However, I have friends that cancel plans at the last minute too without explanation. It can drive you crazy.

I recently was looking forward to a match, but the other guy kept changing the time he was available. First it was all day Friday, then it was after 9pm Friday night, then it was early afternoon Friday. Finally, no time Friday was good.

Technically, he didn't cancel, but we kept playing tag with the timing. It made me doubt his sincerity since I would have met anytime Friday per our original agreement. Very strange how the window of opportunity kept shrinking and then it disappeared.

When you cancel a challenge, does it send a notification to those who replied?

Not sure I know the answer to this, but in case you thought this might be reason he disappeared, well we discussed my doing it and he thought a good idea so others interested wouldn't waste time

No call no show is maddeningly disrespectful. You gotta cancel? Awesome, I'm easy. I get it. I have a busy life, too, and stuff comes up, and plans change. And, a lot of guys on here aren't out about their sexuality, their wrestling fetish(es), or both, and so sometimes there are reasons to cancel around that (you thought your S/O was going to be out of town or away from home, and then suddenly they aren't going to be). I get all that.

But fucking send a message, guys. "Sorry, I can't make it." Radio silence is bullshit.

Agree totally. I mean you started chatting. Even if you are afraid, as mentioned in a comment above, it's still good form to just say you've changed your mind.

My worst was having one disappear after I flew from California to Chicago and he disappeared. Then he blocked me in MF.

Yeah, that is utter bullshit. He might as well have set the money you dropped on that plane ticket on fire.

think we have all had it done to us i can relate to your traveling abroad too for a match been there too . I gave a guy in munich some dates to pick from he chose what weekend was best for him i then fly to amsterdam spend a few days there he still in contact exchaning messages with me while there. I arrive in munich for our match give him my mobile message him room number where i am staying etc. Then on skype he asks if i could meet the next day instead i say yes what time best for him then silence nothing from him no message saying he can no longer do . Then the same happened to me in valencia guy had been exchaning messages he agrees what day was best for him was up for a match he reads where i am staying has my mobile and on the day same as munich silenece no show. Then again i went from frankfurt via monchengladbach to wrestle a guy on a sunday again he chose what date ask him what time and sillence. What made it worse was these guys had past opponents and to make it even worse i have seen one them been profile of the day a few times on this site .
all the above would have ok all they had to do was say can not make it rather than waiting arund wasting time. And of course you are always going to have those who just want to chat about wrestling but wont ever show .

I wouldn't mind chatting about wrestling if they'd make it clear that is their intent. But even exchanging cell numbers and setting times, etc....

yes that my point they will chat offer dates times mobiles but at the end of the day they wont show as they just want to chat but dont make it clear and lead you on in false hope . i think at times its a game for them to lead you on and see if you take the bite. A nd worse of all you seem to think they are the ideal match the sort of opponent you hope to meet .
Then when they stop replying for a bit you end up thinking was it me? was it something i said ?what did i do to put them off ?. but you have done nothing its them who are 100 % at fault
there is nothing i think anyone can do about it either they either leave rejoin under a new name and repeat or just move onto the next guy the thing that keeps me going is all the great people i have met and have kept their word not that that helps at the time